Roger Daltrey wailed on The Who's first hit in 1965, "I hope I die before I get old." Fifty years later, Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel wrote a controversial essay for The Atlantic titled "Why I Hope to Die at 75." No, he isn't tired of living. Rather, his article examines the futility of staying alive as long as possible while burdened with years of poor health.
Over the past century, our average life span, how long we are alive, has increased by 20 years. Average health span, however, has not had a proportional rise.Recent data from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) suggests that is precisely the direction most U.S. adults aged 55 and over are headed. 78% of adults in that category have one or more chronic conditions. The number jumps to over 85% for those beyond age 65. 
These grim statistics are reflected in the average number of years Americans live (76.1) compared to the entire decade less they can expect to enjoy total health. Experts call this yawning gap the difference between life span and health span.
Life Span and Health Span
How long do you want to live? According to an Edward Jones and Age Wave study, nearly 70% of Americans say the answer is 100 years as long as they still have their health and a sense of purpose.
"The focus is on adding life to years, not just years to life."
Life span, how long we are alive, has increased by 20 years over the past century due to advances in medicine, sanitation and overall living conditions. These impressive gains, however, have not been accompanied by a proportional rise in health span.
Dr. Xiaojing Yang, an expert on biological age quantification techniques at Mydnage, describes health span as "the portion of a person's life spent in good health, without significant diseases or disabilities that impair their quality of life. The focus is on adding life to years, not just years to life."
Maximizing health span means maintaining one's physical and mental health, preserving cognitive function and minimizing the impact of age-related diseases.
Why Maximizing Health Span Is Important
Beyond the importance of extending the quality of life for individuals, the societal and economic implications of health span are substantial. As people age and face increasing health challenges, health care systems and economies are strained by the greater resource demand.
Not to mention the drain on one's retirement savings. The average American household has managed to save $87,000. Meanwhile, experts estimate that a couple may need $445,000 to cover yearly medical expenses and long-term care.
By increasing health span, we can potentially delay or reduce the burden of chronic diseases, enhance productivity and financial stability in older populations, and improve the overall quality of life for individuals and communities.
How We Can Increase Our Health Span
We are born with a unique genetic code, but scientists are learning that our DNA is not necessarily our destiny. While our genes doubtlessly influence our dispositions and tendencies, the growing field of epigenetics focuses on "how behavior and environment can affect the way genes work," says Becca Roses of MindBodyGenes.
It is exciting to know, says Roses, that "unlike genetic changes, epigenetic changes are reversible and can be influenced by factors like diet, exercise, stress and sleep quality." 
"Increasing your health span comes down to increasing your quality of life through lifestyle choices." 
Dr. Scott Katzman, orthopedic surgeon at N.J. Spine and Orthopedic, agrees. "Increasing your health span mainly comes down to increasing your quality of life through lifestyle choices," he says. "While certain diseases and most accidents can't be avoided, you can improve your chances of vital participation in your own life."
What exactly are those choices? Ways to be proactive about one's health include avoiding obesity, avoiding tobacco use and having regular medical checkups. 
"One clear path is examining populations like the Blue Zones," says James Dixon, certified personal trainer at Fitness Brain in the U.K., "where large percentages of people live to be over 100 yet remain very active." 
Here are critical common denominators from Blue Zone populations around the world:
Diet is mainly plant-based. Daily consumption of legumes. Small portions of meat are served 4-5 times per month.Eating until 80% fullAlcohol is avoided or consumed in moderation (usually red wine)Active lifestyle with vigorous movement through walking, work and daily choresMinimize stress through prayer/meditation, naps and regular interactionExtended family structure and supportive social networksStrong sense of purpose and faith in a higher sourceBridging the Gap
No one wants to live to 100 wracked with constant pain, disease, mobility issues and loneliness. Beyond improving lifestyle choices, many experts agree that a shift in medical care is essential to bridge the gap between life span and health span.
"Medical care isn't presently designed for the long-term conditions that emerge once we leave the prime health span," says Tiryaki. Roses agrees, advocating "a shift in health care from a disease-oriented approach to one that emphasizes prevention and wellness."
Researchers and start-ups devote enormous time and money to answering this call. New drugs like Ozempic are helping combat obesity. Urolithin A, a postbiotic produced in our gut microbiome, is promising to help kill off damaged cells that accumulate during aging. A new drug is about to be approved by the FDA to increase the longevity of dogs!
Life span is the quantity. Health span is the quality. A cooperative effort between individuals and health care providers, with both parties pulling their share of the load, will ultimately yield the optimal result — years filled with abundant health, purpose and energy.


Life Span vs. Health Span

Edd and Cynthia Staton

Andy Levine hosts the Second Act Stories podcast. Every two weeks he profiles a courageous individual pursuing a new and more rewarding life in a second act. Click here to listen to Andy’s interview with Balzac & Company owner Russell Brent.Russell Brent's mother was a master knitter. And she taught her son to knit at a young age. As Brent remembers it, "I learned how to push two sticks around with a little bit of yarn, cables and lace and that sort of thing." But it was the mid-1970s and Brent dropped his needles when he repeatedly heard the phrase "boys don't knit" from family and friends.
At the age of 51, Russell Brent launched Balzac & Company, a successful yarn store in Ocean Grove, N.J. Like many other second act personalities, Brent found his inspiration by returning to an early childhood passionThirty-plus years later he was walking his dog in San Francisco and a display in a local yarn shop caught his eye. 
"I stopped in and asked how much for the beautiful Afghan in the window?" Brent said. "And they were like, 'Here's the pattern. Here's the yarn. Here are the needles.'"
He started knitting again, making baby caps for his friends who were starting families. "They were vegetables, strawberries and blueberries. The most popular one was an eggplant. And it just developed from there." Brent rediscovered knitting and found it relaxing and meditative.
"I stopped in and asked how much for the beautiful Afghan in the window?"
In 2017, Brent's husband Nick accepted a job offer in New York City. The pair made the move from San Francisco to the East Coast. They ended up purchasing a weekend home on the Jersey shore.
"We were introduced to Ocean Grove, N.J., by some friends and we fell in love with the community. It's a beautiful town and we decided to put down roots," said Brent.
One afternoon he was working in their new home on a knitting project and he needed some additional supplies to finish his work. With no car and the closest yarn store 30 minutes away, Brent expressed his frustration to his husband who remarked, "Well, why don't you open your own store?"
Eager to Build a Community of Knitters 
In his previous career, Brent worked on the West Coast for a mix of larger companies (Visa,  SLO, Studio O&A) and not-for-profits (ArtReach, California Council on Environmental & Economic Balance) in the areas of office/events management. He always enjoyed building a sense of community with his co-workers. 
In his next career move, Brent was able to build on that experience in a new way. Within nine months and at the age of 51, he opened Balzac & Company on Main Street in Ocean Grove. 
"I wanted a place where everyone knows your name and the project you're working on. I wanted to build a real community," he said. 
The shop takes its name from Honoré de Balzac, a French novelist and playwright from the 19th century. "I like the way that he writes about his characters. He was one of the first authors to write in a realistic manner," Brent said.
"We Will Create Together" is the store's mantra. As Brent puts it, "We're here to help you find the right project for you. Picking a project, finding yarn, colors, needles and a pattern can be a little overwhelming. We're here to guide you through the process."
The store quickly built a following of loyal knitting enthusiasts. "Customer service is everything to us. Everything. We are by definition unique from other retail stores because we're a destination shop," he said. "We regularly get people traveling at least an hour, if not two or three, to come to the shop."
Bouncing Back from the Pandemic 
In March 2020, the COVID-19 pandemic hit Brent's business hard. He was forced to lay off his entire staff and pivot to online and telephone orders only.
"I would run yarn out to cars who had stopped in the middle of the street and opened their hatchback. But for nine months, we had little to no business. It wasn't easy," Brent said.  
"I'm surrounded by the most beautiful colors on the planet. How can you not be happy working in a yarn shop?" 
As local restrictions eased, he was able to rehire his team and reopen the store to customers. Business has picked up and he reports that the store is now breaking even.
Brent's advice to others considering starting their own business is simple: "Follow your heart and pursue your dream." 
And it helps to have a supportive spouse. "Nick has been amazing. He's always saying, 'What do you need from me to make this work? Or 'okay, let me get out of your way,'" Brent said. "Having that support at home means I can focus and make this happen." 
Brent finds his work deeply satisfying. As he said, "I have an amazing team and I know that we are appreciated in the community. And I work in a yarn shop. I get to touch cashmere, and alpaca, and silk, and Merino all day long. I'm surrounded by the most beautiful colors on the planet. How can you not be happy working in a yarn shop?"
This article is part of America's Entrepreneurs, a Next Avenue initiative made possible by the Richard M. Schulze Family Foundation and EIX, the Entrepreneur Innovation Exchange.

'We Will Create Together' is the Mantra for This Entrepreneur's Yarn Shop

Andy Levine

Anywhere you go these days (if you go anywhere), you can't help but overhear people swapping vaccine stories. Initially it was, "Did you get your shot?" But as three different vaccines became available in the U.S., the talk has shifted to which vaccine — and a lot of armchair analysis of which is "the one" to get.
Lisa Aliferis, 60, of Oakland, Calif., proudly displays her COVID-19 vaccinationThe conversation took another turn in April, when news spread that six women — between 18 and 48 years of age — who had received the Johnson & Johnson COVID-19 vaccine had developed serious blood clots, one of them fatal. The J&J "jab" had been the new darling of the rolled-up sleeve set because it was the only approved vaccine that required just one shot.
For context, fewer than one in a million vaccine recipients were beset by the clotting disorder, but even before the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommended a "pause" in use of the J&J vaccination for further study, some who had been holding out for the single dose shot began jumping ship.
You're more likely to develop blot clots from contracting the virus itself than from taking any currently approved vaccine.
At the Walgreens pharmacy in Greenville, N.Y., where pharmacists were administering the more available Pfizer vaccine, appointments for COVID-19 shots for a single day in April jumped from 34 to 116 after the Johnson & Johnson blood clot news broke. 
Following a review of the data, the CDC recommended resumption of its use, stating that "the J&J/Janssen COVID-19 vaccine's known and potential benefits outweigh its known and potential risks."
To underscore that finding, a study published in mid-April from Oxford University suggests that you're more likely to develop blot clots from contracting the virus itself than from taking any currently approved vaccine.
You Can't Predict Which Vaccine You'll Tolerate Best
Reactions to any vaccine are highly individualized, and COVID-19 shots are no different. What leads to a mild headache in one person can cause days of body aches and fevers for another.
Kimberly Ayers was lucky. At 62, the retired journalist wrangled a spot in Pfizer's Phase 2/3 clinical trial in Long Beach, Calif. Some of the 29,000-plus participants got placebos in the double-blind study, but Ayers got the real vaccine, which soon became apparent.
She says she had some minor arm soreness after the first shot, but the second shot brought on general fatigue and a 99-degree fever that lasted about half a day.
"I'm absolutely good with it," says Ayers, who is relieved to be "vaxed." While she still wears masks and follows social-distancing guidelines, she's feeling confident enough to make travel plans again.
Eight hundred miles to the east, her longtime friend, Faye DeHoff, had a different experience. She also got the Pfizer vaccine, but the second shot packed a wallop. 
"It was like I'd been hit by a truck and then run over three times," the 68-year-old retiree recalls. DeHoff suffered debilitating body aches and dizziness. It was three days before she felt like getting out of bed.
"People should not fool around. This is a very deadly virus and people should get vaccinated as soon as they can."
But there's a big difference between the two women: DeHoff suffers from Lupus, an auto-immune disorder that can exacerbate reactions to vaccinations of all sorts. 
DeHoff says she discussed with her doctor the advisability of getting the COVID-19 shots and decided to give it a go. She now admits she'll have second thoughts if she needs another vaccine dose down the road.
Health experts say cases like DeHoff's demonstrate why it's so important that healthy people get vaccinated to protect those who can't.
Experts are increasingly skeptical that "herd immunity," the holy grail that physicians have been hoping would put the brakes on the spread of the virus, can be attained in the U.S. That makes it potentially even more important that people not hold out for a specific vaccine when another brand is available sooner.
Lisa Aliferis, of Oakland, Calif., made it her personal mission to get her first vaccine dose on April 1, the first day the state lowered its eligibility bar to below age 65. She took to Facebook immediately, showing off her vaccination "badge," hoping to encourage others to get inoculated. Aliferis says she was a vaccination "hunter," not a shopper.
"People should not fool around," says Aliferis, 60, who is a senior communications officer at the California Health Care Foundation, a non-profit that aims to improve the quality of health care, especially for low-income residents. "This is a very deadly virus and people should get vaccinated as soon as they can," she says.
5 Frequently Asked Vaccine Questions    
1. How many types of COVID-19 vaccines are available in the U.S.?
Three vaccines have been approved for use in the U.S.
The Pfizer-BioNTech is the most commonly administered shot so far, with the Moderna vaccine a close second and the Johnson & Johnson single-shot vaccine, also known as the Janssen vaccine, a distant third— partly because it was the latest to be approved. Nearly 200 vaccines are being tested in laboratories for future use and 13 are currently in circulation worldwide.
2. What are the similarities and differences between the vaccines?
The vaccines all work by harnessing your body's natural defenses to fight the invading virus. Both the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines were developed using newer techniques to produce a vaccine type known as mRNA. These contain genetic "instructions" for our native cells to produce proteins and lymphocytes that will fight future incursions by the virus.
The J&J shot is a more conventional "vector" vaccine. It contains a small amount of inactive material from the COVID-19 virus itself that prompts the body to build defenses similar to those produced by mRNA vaccines. 
Clinical trials have shown slight differences in performance. Pfizer and Moderna both claim their vaccines are more than 90% effective at preventing a COVID-19 infection with symptoms. The J&J vaccine is reportedly 66% effective at preventing disease, but 85% effective at preventing illness serious enough to require hospitalization. 
Our Commitment to Covering the Coronavirus
We are committed to reliable reporting on the risks of the coronavirus and steps you can take to benefit you, your loved ones and others in your community.Read Next Avenue's Coronavirus Coverage
That could be an important distinction for you, depending on your current state of health and personal objectives. Is it important that you not get sick at all, or could you weather a mild case, just as long as you stay out of the hospital?
3. How long do the vaccines protect you?
The jury is still out. Recent studies suggest that the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines should offer about six months of protection. That estimate could be "on the conservative end," Dr. Stella Safo, assistant professor of medicine at Mt Sinai Hospital Medical Center in New York City, told the BBC. 
Safo said she expected the picture to become clearer by this fall, but that it's unrealistic to think your first round of vaccinations will be all you need. "We don't know in a couple of months what the scenario will be," she said, "and so you should expect that you may need a booster."
4. Are the current vaccines effective against new virus variants?
This is another aspect that's still unclear. Early indications are that the vaccines offer at least some protection against current variants, but it's important to note that the virus will continue to mutate and the more people who have it, the more variants are likely to be produced (another reason to get as many people as possible vaccinated). 
Clinical trials of the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines were conducted largely before the new variants appeared. All the major vaccine manufacturers say they're working to update their products to accommodate new variants.
5. Can I still get COVID-19 after being vaccinated?
It's possible, but unlikely. None of the vaccines are 100% effective in all cases. In mid-April, the CDC reported that 5,800 U.S. residents had contracted the virus after being fully vaccinated. Seventy-four of those "breakthrough" cases were fatal. 
These are very small numbers compared to the more than 200 million doses delivered. That's about 27 people out of every million vaccinated or less than your chances of dying in a car accident as a passenger in the next year.
The bottom line message from public health experts continues to be: any COVID-19 vaccine is better than no vaccine. Or as Aliferis puts it, "The best vaccine is the one you can get."


Does COVID-19 Vaccine Shopping Make Sense?

Craig Miller

In the packed hall, an audience of flickering bluish faces stare raptly as Janet Leigh's sister looks up, then down the creaky staircase. Having seen snippets of "Psycho," I had found the movie's shower scene only moderately unnerving. But now, as my fellow students cheer and stomp, the sister enters the cellar, turns the chair — and I scream. Just like Janet Leigh.
Grace Kelly and Anthony Dawson in 'Dial M for Murder,' 1954It startles and annoys the more worldly college kids around me, but Alfred Hitchcock would have been proud.
Hollywood's Golden Age is defined as ending in the early 1960s — so as a young boomer, I missed it entirely. Grown up among dairy farms and apple orchards, where our heavy Zenith TV brought in 2½ channels, there was no chance to catch up on much except the annual showing of "The Wizard of Oz."
For a rural kid who, by age 18, had seen just six movies in a theater, this was a revelation akin to being whirled out of the monochrome flatness of Depression Kansas.
But years before the arrival of cable and streaming services like Turner Classic Movies and the Criterion Channel, immersion in 1940s and '50s movies came from an unexpected source. My university had no film course that I'm aware of, but it did offer so many film series in massive lecture halls, library meeting rooms and the student union, that an observant moviegoer could practically minor in cinema.
A Whole World Opens
I saw roughly 200 films over four years. This astonishes friends now when I mention it, but really, it works out to seeing just three movies every two weeks, hardly a startling number. If a roommate, friend or date wanted to go, great. If not, I'd go alone — just me and some 30 to 500 other students, soaking up thrillers and comedies, dramas and vivid musical extravaganzas.
For a rural kid who, by age 18, had seen just six movies in a theater, this was a revelation akin to being whirled out of the monochrome flatness of Depression Kansas.
Through film, I could travel to Ireland, Japan, Morocco. Marie Curie's lab, ancient Rome and Paris during the French Revolution. Never mind that documentaries were not exactly a thing yet and Cecil B. DeMille's epics were often filmed in California . . . that was the magic of cinema, n'est-ce pas?
Sharing a Love of the Cinema
It was also a bit of a family affair. On college drop-off night, the movie shown outdoors for hundreds of families was 1933's "Duck Soup." (Groucho Marx: "Why, a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child.") Nothing like a roar of laughter to kick off freshman year.
My grandfather used to say Claudette Colbert was his favorite star and watching "It Happened One Night" (1934) made me see what he meant. She and Clark Gable peeking around her improvised room-dividing curtain cracked me up, as did her showing some leg on the roadside to stop a passing driver. (Three years later, in "Way Out West," Stan Laurel of Laurel & Hardy stopped a stagecoach by doing the same thing.)
It was interesting coming to my own conclusions on some films. In my father's eyes, James Bond was a tough guy, a world saver, a ladies' man. Seeing early Connery and Roger Moore for myself, I decided he was a human cartoon character. Space hijackings, hopscotch on crocodiles . . . James, really?
A Lifelong Love Begins
Part of my college education involved expanding my vocabulary, and the films I watched contributed to that. From movies, for instance, I learned the meaning of "gams" (legs), "gumshoe" (private detective), "stool pigeon" (informer), "a dame" (woman), "kisser" (mouth) and "going on the lam" (fleeing the police or some other threat).
Film noir. My early-1980s campus was awash with these 1940s and early '50s stylized mystery and crime dramas, the atmospheric ones with underworld characters scheming behind Venetian blinds, on dark, wet pavement and in shadows — everywhere shadows.
I was astonished to see Fred MacMurray, the affable father of TV's "My Three Sons," as an amoral murderer.
In "Double Indemnity" (1944), I was astonished to see Fred MacMurray, the affable father of TV's "My Three Sons," as an amoral murderer. (No spoiler here. Per the Hays Code, it's all in the first scene.) In "Laura" (1944), Dana Andrews fell for Gene Tierney's portrait, and I fell for Dana Andrews. In a classic plotline, Ray Milland was an innocent family man in "The Big Clock" (1948) forced to search for a killer while being framed for that very crime.
My spouse and I recently caught two of Hitchcock's best, "Dial M for Murder" and "Shadow of a Doubt." "Noir represents a fascinating meeting point of American and European styles and sensibilities," writes Kat Bello in The Collector blog. "The constant twists, betrayals, red herrings and double and triple crosses aim to constantly disorient the viewer. Film noir is never as concerned with the reveal of the mystery as it is with the psychological dimensions of crime."
I was able to draw the connection between this 1940s genre I instantly adored and 1974's cynical, corruption-ridden "Chinatown" (which took place in 1937). It may have arrived three decades later, in color and with a tremendous amount of sunlight, but "forget it, Jake" — it's still film noir.
Requisite Academic Connections
Several movies actually did complement my college studies. Those wacky 1950s monster and alien flicks ("The Blob!" "Invasion of the Body Snatchers!") and "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb" (1964) provided insight into the neurotic early days of the Cold War. "The Third Man," filmed on location in Vienna in 1948, offered viewers a you-are-there look at Austria immediately after World War II.
Reading "For Whom the Bell Tolls," Ernest Hemingway's antifascist Spanish Civil War epic, and then watching the movie version filmed in 1943 amid WWII made for a gripping two-fer. (Did Ingrid Bergman, who starred in "Casablanca" as well as "For Whom the Bell Tolls," make a habit of playing stoic wartime heroines?)
Learning about the intricacies of the civil rights movement in the 1950s and '60s was eye-opening; encountering the blackface and cringeworthy racial references in such otherwise delightful films as "A Day at the Races" (1937) and "Holiday Inn" (1942) was eyebrow-raising.
Ever use "gaslight" to mean the psychological manipulation of someone to get them to doubt their own sanity? See the 1944 film that gave birth to the term.
When sociology courses examined the collapse of female employment and the push to diminish women's prominence after World War II, I saw this echoed in the difference between "Baby Face" (1933), in which a young Barbara Stanwyck cheerfully slept her way to the top in business, and "Marjorie Morningstar" (1958), in which our heroine Natalie Wood had romantic misadventures only to (apparently) settle down as a housewife.
Of course, the Hays Code also had something to do with that. But societal changes don't occur in a vacuum.
Why 'Old Movies'?
Not only were some of our best films made in the 1930s through the 1960s, but the best of recent films are influenced by those before them.
"Mank" (2022), which won two Academy Awards and was nominated for eight others (it won two), tells the story of Herman J. Mankiewicz, the screenwriter who collaborated with Orson Welles on the script for "Citizen Kane" (1941); together, those movies make a perfect double feature. "La La Land" (2016) doesn't hide its connections to 1950s and '60s films of all kinds.
You'll get more out of "The Aviator" (2004) if you've seen Katherine Hepburn, Ava Gardner and Errol Flynn rule the screen themselves. "Star Wars" (1977) was said to be a Western set in space, a "yee-hah" rehash of the serials and adventure pics of George Lucas's boyhood. And so on.
Ever use "gaslight" to mean the psychological manipulation of someone to get them to doubt their own sanity? See the 1944 film that gave birth to the term.
Betty Bacall's Pursed Lips
Without knowing old movies, you won't understand some of the greatest lines, either. "Well, nobody's perfect." "Rosebud." "Goodness had nothing to do with it." "Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth." "You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve?" Eighty years after Lauren Bacall purred that to her future husband Humphrey Bogart in "To Have and Have Not," viewer reaction is still "Whew!"
Whether your exposure to the Golden Age is through a home screen or years of theatergoing, the experience is both enjoyable and enlightening. "To me, the perfection of classic movies is the pure art of the story," says Bennett Garner Green in The Odyssey. The plot and characters keep you gasping, guessing, laughing or swooning . . . no special effects needed.


When the Pictures Were Big

Ellen Ryan

The Beverley Schottenstein $80 million elder financial fraud story is one you won't believe. But, as my "Friends Talk Money" podcast co-hosts and I explained in our two latest episodes, it's one you need to know about to protect your parents from becoming victims themselves.
Wealthy Beverley Schottenstein won a landmark case against her grandson brokersSchottenstein, 94, recently won $19 million in her arbitration case against J.P. Morgan Securities and her grandsons Avi and Evan Schottenstein, her brokers there for five years, ostensibly managing her millions. (Schottenstein is matriarch of the family's Columbus, Ohio retail dynasty, whose stores included Value City and American Eagle Outfitters.)
When she complained about that to her grandsons and got no satisfaction, Schottenstein got J.P. Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon on the phone.
Problem is, the grandsons wouldn't tell their grandmother what stocks they were buying and selling. They made hundreds of transactions this way, Schottenstein said.
"I would call and say, 'Now, what's going on, boys? I want to know.'" Schottenstein, who lives in Florida, told "Friends Talk Money" co-host Pam Krueger. (You can listen to the whole episode wherever you get podcasts or at the end of this article.)
But, Schottenstein said, her grandsons told her only that they were doing well for her.
When the Brokerage Statements Stopped Coming
After Schottenstein insisted they check with her before trading in her account, her brokerage statements stopped coming. When she complained about that to her grandsons and got no satisfaction, Schottenstein got J.P. Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon on the phone.
"I was very upset talking to Jamie," Schottenstein recalled. "He said: 'I'm going to let you talk to my Number One Man." She then spoke to that man, told him her story and started crying. "And he said: 'I'm going to take care of it immediately. Don't worry. Don't worry.' I never heard back from any of them."
Ultimately, Schottenstein went to arbitration through FINRA (Financial Industry Regulatory Authority) because retail investors can't take their brokers to court.
"J.P. Morgan made millions of dollars just in commissions and those commissions were also split with Evan and Avi," Schottenstein's granddaughter Cathy, a first cousin of Avi and Evan Schottenstein, said on the podcast. She's writing a book about the case and her grandmother, who she calls Nanny ("Twisted: Conflict, Madness and the Redemptive Power of a Granddaughter's Love"). 
Schottenstein's granddaughter said that at one point, J.P. Morgan Securities froze her grandmother out of her own account and that the grandsons wrongly said she had dementia.
"Friends Talk Money" co-host Terry Savage said that after Schottenstein persevered and won the case in February 2021, J.P. Morgan Chase issued a statement saying that "the brokers involved are no longer with our firm" and "do not reflect the values of our firm." The grandsons' attorney said the $19 million award was inconsistent with the evidence presented at the FINRA hearing. 
FINRA permanently banned Evan Schottenstein in April 2021. The Schottenstein brothers have asked a court to nullify the arbitration panel's ruling.
Cathy Schottenstein is writing the book "Twisted" about her grandmother Beverley's storyThe Lousy Odds of Winning in Arbitration
Most investors going through FINRA arbitration — where decisions are final — don't win a dime. When I checked the FINRA site, I learned that customers were only awarded damages 32% of the time in 2020, and that's down from 45% in 2019.
Even if you do win, Louis Straney, managing partner at the Arbitration Insight firm in Lamy, N. M., told "Friends Talk Money," you're "seldom fully made whole, because of attorney's fees and litigation costs and other expenses." The average filing fee with FINRA is about $1,200; the larger the case, the higher the fees, according to Investorlawyers.com.
The new Securities and Exchange Commission Chair Gary Gensler recently told Congress he favored legislation known as the Investor Choice Act that would let investors take brokers to court rather than arbitration.
"It's really important that people can recognize the red flags and follow in Beverley's footsteps and speak up."
Schottenstein's case and the FINRA arbitration realities show why it's so important for investors to watch their brokers like a hawk. And if they spot irregularities — such as churning of their accounts through excessive trading — they need to report this to the firm and to financial authorities.
"It's important that you have someone on your side to speak up," said Savage. And, she advised, put your accusations about unauthorized trading in writing.
First, send them to the brokerage firm's branch manager. If you get no results, Savage said, take it up the chain of command.
"Don't be shy about reaching out to the state securities administrator," said Krueger. "It's really important that people can recognize the red flags and follow in Beverley's footsteps and speak up."
Savage noted that the FINRA site's BrokerCheck area can also tell you whether there have been regulatory actions, arbitration cases and complaints against a broker.
Elder Financial Abuse: A $3 Billion Problem
While the dollars in Schottenstein's case may be astronomical, elder financial abuse is a serious problem for many mere older mortals on the planet. As Savage noted: "It's such a sad story. And unfortunately, it's not all that uncommon."
Estimates of elder financial fraud and abuse vary, but the Federal Bureau of Investigation said older Americans suffered $3 billion in losses in 2019. The average loss per case: about $18,000.
"About ninety percent of perpetrators of elder financial abuse are actually the children of the spouses or the caretakers," said Savage. But, I noted, many of these cases aren't reported because the victims are embarrassed or humiliated or they don't want to get a loved one in trouble or cause a family rift.
Schottenstein told "Friends Talk Money" that the whole financial exploitation experience was very upsetting for her.  "I started losing my hair," she said. "Thank goodness it's coming back to me."


The Grandmother Who Won Her Elder Fraud Case Against Her Grandsons

Richard Eisenberg

It is estimated that more than 26 million people have taken an at-home DNA test such as 23 and Me, AncestryDNA, and others. And this statistic, which is one of the most recent numbers available, is actually from 2019 — so that number has likely grown.
Members of Hiraeth Hope & Healing, founded by Erin Cosentino and Cindy McQuayWhile most people who take these tests may find out some fun family facts, then go about their lives, a small minority of DNA test takers' lives are changed forever. 
In a contributed article to The Washington Post, Libby Copeland, journalist and author of "The Lost Family: How DNA Testing is Upending Who We Are," writes that "We live in the age of genetic reckoning."
"'Misattributed' was a term totally unfamiliar to me until I began researching my origin." 
Based on her extensive research, Copeland estimates that at least one million people who have taken a recreational DNA test have discovered the man they knew as their father is not their genetic father, or that they have unknown half siblings. She also notes that a Pew Research Study cites that more than a quarter of DNA test takers have found an unexpected close relative.
The people who make these discoveries have acronyms such as "MPE" (misattributed parenting event) or "NPE" (not parent expected/non-parental event) to help them label themselves and the experience.
"'Misattributed' was a term totally unfamiliar to me until I began researching my origin," says Peter J. Boni, best-selling author of "Uprooted," a book he wrote after two decades of research to find his biological father. 
"Misconceived, misunderstood, misnomer; I was familiar with a lot of other 'mis' words. It means that someone is an NPE, misattributed in a non-parental event to one or both parents. The birth certificate and the DNA don't jive," he says. 
After the DNA Discovery is Made 
"How can that be? Late-discovery closed adoption, an extramarital affair, a one-night stand, sexual assault, raised by another family member, abducted or switch at birth," he continues. "All could be reasons. Or, like me, 'semi-adopted' in a highly secretive process where parents were fully complicit — artificial insemination by an anonymous donor. I was sperm donor conceived."
"Those who have an NPE discovery should feel free to feel every conflicting emotion there is; give yourself permission to feel them," Boni says. "I also benefitted from finding a community and therapy. And most important, know that you are not alone."
Eve Sturges is a therapist, writer, and podcaster from Los Angeles who is familiar with how an at-home DNA test can rock your world. Her "Everything's Relative" podcast regularly features experts in the field as well as stories of NPEs and the impact their discoveries made on their lives and the lives of their loved ones.
The Trauma of a DNA Discovery 
"A DNA discovery can be incredibly disorienting and even traumatic," Sturges explains. "The existential crisis of an N/MPE can create anxiety or depression, and trigger strong emotions like anger, grief, and fear. All of this can be exacerbated by common stressors like loss of sleep, lack of support, and difficult or painful information. It is incredibly important to recognize the huge experience as such and give yourself time to process it."
For those who make these discoveries later in life, there can be even more extenuating circumstances; the original or newly discovered parents may have passed away, leaving questions that often can't be answered.
"This can feel isolating," Sturges says about late-in-life DNA discoveries. "The number one thing to know is that you are not alone. Find the growing community out there that is ready to support you, listen to you, commiserate with you, and eventually laugh with you. The powerlessness of the unknown is overwhelming, so it's important to recognize where you do have control or answers in your own life."
Sturges says that "all the facets of mental health care" are important during this process.  
"Support of community or family, physical activity, an enjoyable or stimulating pastime or hobby, a healthy lifestyle, and the support of a therapist are all ways to survive the shock and confusion of a non-parental event, especially if answers are impossible to find," says Sturges, who has curated a list of resources on her website.
Creating Connections 
Catherine St Clair, a Texas resident and founder of the NPE Friends Fellowship, shares that her own NPE discovery, "caused the floor to fall out from under me." 
A nonprofit group, NPE Friends Fellowship provides community, support, and resources to NPEs and their families through online resources, in-person events and retreats, and even scholarships and financial support in specific situations.
"Don't dive in feet first and don't imply that you are instant family, because you are not. These are usually total strangers that may or not be a good blend in each other's lives." 
"Today, four and a half years after it started, we provide support to over eleven-thousand people worldwide, covering over forty countries on six continents," St Clair shares. "Our NPE Friends community consists of over one hundred twenty-five Facebook groups, including our main group for NPEs only [population eight thousand four hundred and growing]."
"My top advice is 'be still and breathe,'" St Clair says about those who experience this discovery later in life. "When this discovery is made, it is in your best interests to not act [right away]. Recognize that you have experienced a trauma to your psyche that is as real as surviving a major car accident or the sudden unexpected death of a very close loved one. This is a trauma." 
She continues, "Your first inclination may be to try to downplay it as a minor incident, or to not afford yourself the right to have any feelings on this matter at all. I recommend that you try to separate the adult in you from that inner child who is always present in the shadow of your adult identity."
St Clair recommends that NPEs also avoid making rash decisions and keep priorities in place — especially when it comes to connecting with newly discovered genetic connections.
"Don't dive in feet first and don't imply that you are instant family, because you are not. These are usually total strangers that may or may not be a good blend in each other's lives," St Clair says. "Start with just getting to know each other. A potential friendship could develop over time, but becoming family takes time together to build memories. Don't have lofty expectations. Most important, no matter how well received you may be by the new family, shield that inner child through it all."
St Clair recommends prioritizing sharing important medical history, photographs, necessary personal information, and getting acquainted only as both parties are comfortable.
Healing and Helping Others 
Erin Cosentino of Toms River, N.J., made her own NPE discovery four years ago. She says that she knew her biological father as a child and, when the discovery was made and they connected, he didn't want to be involved in her life.
"That was so hard and life altering," she says. "I decided to heal in the best way I knew how — through education."  
Alongside friend Cindy McQuay, an adoptee whom she met at a retreat, Cosentino runs healing retreats for adoptees, donor-conceived people, late discovery adoptees, and NPEs through her organization Hiraeth Hope & Healing.
"To be in the same room as others who have experienced this same trauma, which feels so lonely, is healing," she says. In addition to the retreats, they run a Facebook group for NPEs.
Leeanne R. Hay, a Texas-based NPE, writer and author of "NPE* A Story Guide for Unexpected DNA Discoveries," made her own NPE discovery in 2017 and decided to turn the traumatic incident into a book to help others.
"Our [NPE] community needed an authentic story by an NPE with scientific and historical information and a guide to help others navigate the journey," she says. "This was how the book was born, researched, and written over three years."
Hay has learned the support of others is invaluable. "Lean into the caring of your spouse or partner or closest friend, someone you are sure is empathetic because this is hard for non-NPEs to understand," she advises. "Your NPE discovery probably had a shocking effect on you, and it also may on others, too. Be kind to yourself and them."


Aftershock: How to Cope with Surprise DNA Discoveries

Michelle Talsma Everson

Show a little faith
There's magic in the night
I'll never forget where I was on the evening of Dec. 12, 1975.
Whatever you may have been doing on that Friday night, I was having a better time. I guarantee it.
You see, I saw Bruce Springsteen in concert for the first time.
Bruce Springsteen, 1975I was a junior in college, preparing sort of diligently that week for final exams. By Thursday, Dec. 11, I had only one task left for the term, albeit a weighty one: a 20-page paper for my Shakespeare class. My heart was really not in it. I had procrastinated all fall long. So, I had to pull an all-nighter. I managed to scribble something semi-coherent during the wee hours, and handed in the essay just in time for my 10 o'clock class.
I looked forward to crashing for the rest of the day, and the rest of the weekend, and then the rest of my life.
"We're seeing Bruce! Tonight! We have tickets! You have to come with us!"
Minutes after I placed my head on the pillow in my dorm room, Rich, Alan and Mitchell, three of my best pals on campus, noisily banged on the door, rousing me. I was very annoyed that they were bothering me when I could barely keep my eyes open.
"WE'RE SEEING BRUCE! TONIGHT!," they shouted in ecstasy, the flow of words hitting me like a fire hose. "WE HAVE TICKETS! YOU HAVE TO COME WITH US!"
Now, I didn't have to ask twice who this "Bruce" was. It had to be Springsteen himself. We had worn out our copies of his new album, "Born to Run." He was EVERYWHERE that fall. Somehow, the guy, whose first two albums had sold so poorly that people all over the FM radio dial were predicting that Columbia Records was poised to cut him loose if "Born to Run" didn't break through. His mug even appeared on the covers of Time and Newsweek that autumn in the same week.
The concert was magnificent. It was one of those personal glory days that college buddies always remember and gush about for decades. Bruce and his band were electrifying in the compact confines of the Post Dome at C.W. Post College in Greenvale, New York.
We were sitting in the eighth row. I can remember details as if the concert took place only yesterday. Bruce opened with "Thunder Road," accompanied only by piano player Roy Bittan. Next, the band came in stage for a rocking "Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out." The hits just kept on coming.
The highlight came during the encore when they played a rousing version of "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town." It's the same rendition that you hear on the radio every December during the holiday season.
It was a concert that I will never forget.
Call it a shining example of the power of Bruce Springsteen.
Special Memories
I reckon that you, too, have a special Springsteen-related memory. Bruce burst on the scene with the release of his first album, "Greetings from Asbury Park, N.J.," in January 1973.
That's right. Bruce has occupied our collective consciousness for half a century. I remember every one of his concerts that I've attended. I know rational, serious, professional people who have followed Bruce around on tour, from town to town. So I won't dare to stick my chest out about the dozens of shows I've seen.
(Right now, there is someone reading this piece in Chicago or Atlanta or L.A. or Amsterdam and sneering, "DOZENS, YOU SAY? GIVE ME A BREAK, JON. I'VE SEEN HUNDREDS OF BRUCE'S SHOWS!")
I remember the concert on May 23, 1999, at Earls Court in London. A pal of mine had gotten married the day before in Paris and the week before that I had gone on a cycling trip in Provence, France. I was wiped out from the traveling and partying and looking forward to heading home to New York from Paris. But come on! When another friend invited me to see Bruce and the band in London, I couldn't turn it down.
When Madison Square Garden announced that there would be 10 Springsteen concerts there in June and July, I promptly went to the bank and withdrew enough money to purchase tickets for six shows. (Yes, life was much simpler in those days. Take that, Taylor Swift fans!)
Hero Bruce
I believe that Bruce's greatest accomplishment in the half-century that he has been on the national scene is his unique ability to remain relevant.
Against all odds, he has remained a Jersey guy.
Sure, the Rolling Stones and the Who have been around for even more time than Bruce, and they're still playing shows all over the world. But is either of those bands still meaningful, except as a museum piece on stage? Not so much.
But Springsteen has managed the difficult feat of remaining a special presence in our lives throughout. He has morphed from rock God to icon to what he is now: a hero. (Granted, many of his fans are furious that they had to shell out hundreds or even thousands of dollars to see Bruce play on his current worldwide tour.)
Bruce stands for decency, grace, kindness, fun and altruism. He occupies that rare air of stardom that, today, perhaps only Tom Hanks can live in. There is the telling slice of life that shortly after terrorists attacked the World Trade Center across the Hudson River on the morning of Sept. 11, 2001, an unidentified man spotted Bruce in Sea Bright, New Jersey, and called out, "Bruce, we need you."
Has anyone ever said that about The 1975?
Greatest Accomplishment
I'll go so far as to say that Springsteen's greatest accomplishment has been remaining true to his ideals. Fame hasn't gone to his head. Against all odds, he has remained a Jersey guy.
He has set a standard for niceness among celebrities. I've heard stories from neighbors of his in north Jersey that there was a time on Halloween when Bruce and his wife (and E Street band mate), singer Patti Scialfa, would not only hand out candy to trick or treaters, but give them a song at the same time.
I can attest to Springsteen's niceness. A few years ago, my sister and her husband were having dinner in the Broadway district of Manhattan when they looked around the restaurant. In a corner, two men were eating and talking intently.
"Oh my God," my sister exclaimed, "it's Bruuuuuce."
Cordial with Fans
Now, you have to understand that my sister is fearless. She promptly marched over to Bruce's table and politely introduced herself and promptly gushed about how much his music meant to her.
Even though he was deep into a business dinner with his manager, Jon Landau, Bruce was cordial and friendly. He's a true gentleman and he has never forgotten the fans.
One night during his current European tour, he had dinner in Barcelona with Barack and Michelle Obama and Steven Spielberg. Pretty heady company. Bruce has come a long way since that night I saw him in concert in 1975.
And would anybody have been surprised if he broke bread the following night with the roadies?


BRUUUUUCE!

Jon Friedman

As the pandemic lockdown dragged on, people desperately searched for a bit of entertainment — anything to pass the time. Some started baking artisan bread, others planted gardens, organized their homes or embarked upon elaborate DIY projects. 
Many other people started TikTok accounts. 
Retired engineer Lynn Davis is a TikTok sensation with 4.4 million followersThe social media platform began as a repository for lip-synching videos and visual gags, but has since developed as a host for educational content; all the videos are under three minutes. Politicians have taken to TikTok to explain their policies. Scientists used it to explain the COVID-19 vaccine and debunk myths about the virus. Buzzfeed recently did a roundup of Tik-Tok recommendations.
It is now a way for small business owners and content creators to connect with their audiences, too. 
"TikTok has made me feel very happy and creative." 
I'm one of those users. Using my business name, Mechanic Shop Femme, I share instructional videos for how to perform simple car maintenance tasks — all while looking fabulous.
Since starting posting regularly on my TikTok in December, my account has grown to 325,000 followers. I've had the honor of working with the platform, where I was named one of the 15 LGBT Trailblazers, for this Pride Month. 
And before you think, "Oh, TikTok is just for kids," know that there is a whole world of content creators over 50 who have embraced TikTok — and you could be one, too. 
"It's really important to realize as older individuals, we really have earned the right at this time in our lives to be ourselves, especially our creative selves," says Dr. Linda J Browne, a TikTok creator with over 200,000 followers. (More of her story below.)
7 TikTok Users Over 50 Making Their Mark 
Here are seven TikTok users over 50 who are making their mark. Their stories will inspire you, whether you might be interested in a new creative passion or just want to laugh and learn something on a new platform. 
Lynn Davis: 4.4 million followers@cookingwithlynja
Lynn Davis, a retired engineer, never set out to become a creator and certainly didn't expect to explode on a platform that ate up the content she created. The pandemic caused her son, Tim, to lose his videography gigs, so he decided to spend his time videoing typical household tasks and items. Davis had always wanted to record videos of herself cooking special family recipes, and a YouTube channel was born.
Soon after, the mother and son duo took to TikTok, growing rapidly to over four million followers by featuring quirky food videos with tasty recipes to steal the hearts (and stomachs) of their viewers.
When their first TikTok video went viral, Tim was out of town and called his mother to share the news. "Ma, the bacon egg and cheese video has three hundred thousand views!" he told her. "And I said, 'Tim, are you pulling my leg?'"
Cooking with Lynja TikToks
Amanda Riley: 83,700 followers@Superflylunchlady
For Amanda Riley, a food service director at a public school in Connecticut, TikTok started as a way to show off her extensive eyeglass collection. She had been creating short videos on her school's Facebook page to share updates with families and the feedback on her glasses flowed abundantly. Jumping on TikTok was a no-brainer. Watching Riley's videos is a humbling, joyous experience. 
"TikTok has made me feel very happy and creative," Riley told me. She sings and wears the quirkiest clothing, wildest glasses and exciting hair accessories that one can find, all while offering a hopeful and inspiring message. 
Amanda Riley's Favorite TikToks
Dr. Christopher Raynor: 38,000 followers@dr.chrisraynor
Dr. Christopher Raynor of Ottawa, Ontario, an orthopedic surgeon and sports medicine physician, isn't new to content creating, but he found a unique niche on TikTok.
Raynor was familiar with sharing videos on YouTube, so TikTok was an easy next step. His videos strike a balance between fun and upbeat and educational, as he shares his medical knowledge in easy-to-understand language. 
Dr. Christopher Raynor's Favorite TikToks
Trisha Gigi Marroquin: 1.9 million followers@tiktokmomma7 
Trisha Gigi Marroquin was one of the first creators I followed after joining TikTok. A career dance teacher from Texas, her unbridled joy and love of music and dance makes her radiate positive energy and happiness.
Marroquin started creating videos shortly after the pandemic caused shutdowns in the U.S. and quickly became an online sensation.
"TikTok has brought so much joy to me," she says. "Especially when people share with me that my content has brought them out of depression and made them smile again."
Marroquin's videos often feature her dancing with her grandchildren. 
Trisha Gigi Marroquin's Favorite TikTok: 
Nadine Robbins: 43,900 followers@nadinerobbinsart 
Have you ever been interested in a day in the life of a hyper-realistic artist? Nadine Robbins started sharing her art — behind the scenes, along with tips for creating art — on TikTok a year ago. 
Robbins, of Rhinebeck, N.Y., wasn't new to social media, having built a following on Instagram, and gaining international acclaim, including feature stories on Buzzfeed, The Huffington Post, Fine Art Connoisseur and others.
Robbins found joy in the TikTok platform, spending hours answering questions and painting live. She even takes on the cost of creating, with a viral TikTok that touched thousands.
Nadine Robbins' Favorite TikToks
Dr. Linda J Browne: 220,000 followers@Lindajbrowne  
For Dr. Linda J Browne, an internist in New York City, her TikTok journey started when she came across a video that had been reposted to Instagram. It featured a number of doctors who were Black women.
Browne hadn't heard of TikTok before, but that video had her investigating. Before she knew it, she was creating medical and sketch comedy content, sometimes at the intersection of the two.
"It has added an entire new dimension to my creativity," she told me.
But not all of Browne's content is funny. A recent viral video she created shows her in front of a green screen prominently displaying a "whites only" water fountain as captions tell the story of the time she "broke the rules" and drank from it. 
Dr. Linda J Browne's Favorite TikToks: 
Alison Lush: 86,100 followers@alisonlush_enough
When the pandemic hit, Alison Lush, who is based in Montreal, lost her home-organization clients, but that didn't stop her. After taking a course to learn how to help people get organized virtually, Lush took to TikTok. She creates content to help people living with chronic disorganization.
"I've developed my public-speaking voice, my video-creation skills and I've expressed myself creatively," says Lush. Today, the vast majority of her clients find her through TikTok, and she's built a thriving community of people who love to learn from her.
Alison Lush's Favorite TikToks:
Advice for People Considering Joining TikTok and Creating Content
TikTok is a bit different from other social platforms; it's really focused on engaging and exciting users.
If you're thinking, "But I don't want to make video content," you absolutely don't have to. Many TikTok users never create content, using the platform only to consume incredible videos of all kinds from creators all over the world. 
"At the beginning, it's like arriving in a big foreign city. Humility is appropriate," says Lush. "Listen and observe. And when you do begin to comment, be respectful." 
For creators, educators, artists and others, "TikTok provides a wonderful opportunity for access to a wide variety of audiences as a result of its novelty and its favorable discovery algorithm," says Raynor. 
One of the great things about creating content on TikTok is that if you follow Lush's advice, you'll learn a lot about the platform simply by consuming it. You'll see which topics are trending and you'll find creators like Wave Wyld who create content just to help people learn about the platform. Once you start creating, your content will evolve as you learn. 
And if you decide to try your hand at making a few videos, here's a tip from Raynor: "Try to ask questions in your content so that people will respond in the comments." Comments give you a way to start building those connections and community. 
TikTok is about so much more than just lip-synching and music. It's a place to build communities, a place to grow business, and ultimately, a place to learn. 
This article is made possible with funding from the NextFifty Initiative.

Think TikTok Is Just for Young People? Think Again.

Chaya Milchtein

Every entrepreneur has experienced it.  Those days when nothing seems to be going right. Those frustrating times when you can't see a path to success ahead. Before you throw in the towel and give up, learn from these entrepreneurs on how they push through the tough times.
Tanya Van CourtIn October, our company Stage2Startups, an organization that helps older, experienced workers start their own business, invited over 30 "second stage" founders to speak at our first Founders Over 40 Conference.
"Don't get lost in the day-to-day of your business and lose sight of your mission." 
Speakers came from all backgrounds and industries; they either started their companies from scratch or bought and built a company; and, they started both for-profit and nonprofit organizations.
While every entrepreneur's journey is unique, we learned that everyone who sets out to start their own business will experience those moments when success does not look possible. 
Here is some advice on how these business founders stayed motivated:
Have a Plan 
One of the best ways to prevent feeling discouraged as you build your business is to have a solid plan.
Richard Russo, CEO of Endomedix, a biotechnology firm based in Montclair, N.J., notes that when entrepreneurs focus only on the end goal, they can lose sight of what needs to be done in the short term to reach that goal.
"When your goal is so far away, it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and you can feel like you are not getting anywhere," says Russo, who counsels every founder to create a plan with concrete milestones and the steps needed to achieve each milestone.
"Now, when you achieve a milestone, you can feel good about yourself and look back on what you achieved. In addition, you can now communicate your success to others, which also builds your confidence."
Remember Your "Why" 
Even with a plan in place, it is never a smooth path to achieving your goal.
Gary Portuesi, founder of the luxury travel business, Authentic Explorations, based in New York City, talked about how easy it is to get overwhelmed by the general chaos of the daily tasks of building a business.
Ngozi OkaroHe advises, "Don't get lost in the day-to-day of your business and lose sight of your mission. Take a deep breath, and remember to keep looking at the longer term view."
Ngozi Okaro, the New York City-based founder of the nonprofit Custom Collaborative, which offers training to low and no-income women and immigrant women in the fashion industry, planned out where she wanted to be in 3, 5 and 10 years. Then, when frustrations built or nothing seemed to be going right, she could always look to the future. 
"When I am in frustrating moments, I step back and remember that this particular moment is not the moment I am living for," says Okaro. "I remind myself that I am working for the big moments when I know I am making a transformational impact on women's lives. This helps me get over the short- term frustration and refocus on my bigger mission."
Build Your Support Group 
Being a solopreneur does not mean you have to do it alone when you hit a roadblock. Our entrepreneurs cautioned against becoming isolated and instead take the time to find people with the skills and willingness to help. These people can serve as sounding boards, brainstorm solutions, and help open doors. 
James Rosseau, Sr."The ability to pick up a phone and ask some people for help is invaluable," says James Rosseau, Sr., founder of The Corelink Solution, a Wilmington, Del. nonprofit focused on revitalizing communities through programs that help people realize their potential. 
Rousseau suggests finding people on LinkedIn with the skills and knowledge you need and do a "cold call" introduction explaining why you want to connect with them.
"You would be surprised at how many people want to help," he says.
New York resident Deb Boulanger, founder of The Launch Lab, a mentoring program for women entrepreneurs, also recommends building a community of people you trust because "the last thing you want to do is struggle alone." 
However, she counseled that you must build your support group with the right people. 
"Friends can't help you because they don't have the expertise in what you are trying to build.  You need people who are working in the same space as you and who have experienced the same challenges. These people can commiserate with you, share their experiences, and help you work through the moment," says Boulanger.
Keep Your Grit 
Deb BoulangerEducators talk about the importance of grit for children to succeed. The same is true for entrepreneurs. A consistent theme among our entrepreneurs was the importance of not letting short-term challenges or naysayers derail their long term goals. 
But perseverance does not mean beating your head against the wall. Instead, step back and reevaluate. 
Tanya Van Court, who founded Goalsetter, a family savings and spending app, says, "Treat any barrier as an obstacle. A barrier means that you can never get from point A to point B, but with an obstacle you can figure out how to go around, under or over it."
Jeanne Pinder, founder of ClearHealthCosts, talked about what it was like launching a tech startup, focused on transparency in health care pricing, as a 55-year-old woman.  
"I encountered a lot of naysaying - I was too old to start a company or I couldn't start a tech startup because I was a woman. But you have to turn that negativity into something good. I became motivated every time someone said I couldn't do something. I didn't take no for an answer and I didn't give up," Pinder says. 
This article is part of America's Entrepreneurs, a Next Avenue initiative made possible by the Richard M. Schulze Family Foundation and EIX, the Entrepreneur Innovation Exchange.

How to Move Forward When You Want to Quit Your Business

Emelie Smith Calbick

Betty Wong

Antonio Nigro, 24, of Edison, N.J., had no idea he would make his grandmother into a social media sensation simply by videotaping her doing what she loves to do.
It all started in January 2020. Pia Quaglieri, now 83 years old, was sitting in the kitchen getting ready for a trip to the supermarket. As his Nonna (pronounced NO-nna, Italian for grandmother) was writing a shopping list of everything she needed to cook for Sunday dinner for a family party, Nigro decided to videotape her.
Nonna Pia making her tomato sauce with her family every August (left), and in her kitchen (right)"At the time, I had a TikTok account, but I wasn't very active. I posted the video for fun and thought nothing of it," he said. "A few hours later, I looked at my phone and the video had 100,000 views. It was a complete fluke. I didn't expect it to go viral."
"I love when everybody eats cause it makes me so happy to see smiles on everyone's face." 
Today, Nonna Pia (@nonnapiaa) has over 2.6 million followers on TikTok. Her fans love her, calling her "amazing" and "a treasure." Nonna Pia has really struck an emotional chord with people who have lost a grandparent or were separated from loved ones due to the pandemic.
According to Nigro, "Eighty percent of the comments on our videos are about how Nonna reminds them of their own grandmother. She connects people to their own traditions, to their own good family memories."
Nonna Pia's Passion for Cooking
For some, cooking is a necessity or even a chore. But for Quaglieri, cooking is a passion. In an interview with Next Avenue, she said, "I love when everybody eats cause it makes me so happy to see smiles on everyone's face."
Quaglieri was raised in Italy and immigrated to the United States when she was in her late teens.
"Nonna Pia lived through World War two. During that time, she didn't have that much to eat. Now, she always makes sure there is plenty. Nonna has no portion control. Even though we can eat a lot, there are always leftovers; sometimes we have full trays that we give to friends and neighbors," Nigro said.
Nonna Pia and her grandson, Antonio NigroIn a video of Nonna taken on July 3rd, Nigro comments that there is no way that the table full of food is just the leftovers from that night's dinner. Nonna laughs and says she cooked so much pasta and meatballs there will be no need for a barbecue on the Fourth of July.
Quaglieri says she learned how to cook from her mother and sister-in-law. She relies on simple ingredients, including lots of fresh produce.
Of his grandmother, Nigro said, "Like many immigrants, she came from humble beginnings, so she doesn't use a lot of expensive ingredients in her cooking. She also doesn't experiment much. She prefers to stick to cooking dishes she knows how to make and she has become an even better cook with age."
'The Way I Make It'
Everything Quaglieri serves, from bread to pasta, is homemade. In one video, Quiglieri asks her grandson if he wants macaroni and cheese for lunch, adding, "The way I make it. No from a box."
In another video, Nigro asks Nonna if the sauce (yes, she prefers the word sauce to gravy) she is using for her lasagna is store bought. Quiglieri visibly shudders and says, "Are you kidding me?"
"Sometimes people mistakenly think that she uses mass-made jarred sauce in the videos. But we actually jar our own sauce every summer. The entire family — aunts, uncles, cousins — we all get together to make fresh sauce in August," Nigro said. "It's a whole process, pureeing the tomatoes, adding the ingredients and making tons of jars of sauce so we can use it year-round."
Unlike some content creators, Nigro chooses not to make videos that are enhanced or heavily edited. Instead, he posts vignettes of his grandmother's real everyday life. Nigro captures Nonna Pia cooking, cleaning, laughing, dancing and enjoying herself.
"Her fame has hit her more recently and she gets a kick out of it when people recognize her when she is out grocery shopping." 
The videos illustrate her love of life and family, as well as her incredible strength. Viewers see Quaglieri lifting giant pots and kneads huge mounds of dough to make homemade bread and pasta.
Nigro said, "Pia is such a hard worker. She cooks almost every day. Then she cleans the kitchen and the whole house."
Added Quiglieri, "It's all I did my whole life. I always had mouths to feed."
Nigro joked, "Nonna doesn't need exercise because she is always on her feet, except for in the evenings when she likes to sit in the living room with us to watch her game shows."
A Surprise TikTok Sensation 
Quaglieri is surprised by how popular she has become on TikTok.
"At first, when I told her about the number of likes and views her videos are getting, I am not sure she understood it, but she was flattered," Nigro said. "Her fame has hit her more recently and she gets a kick out of it when people recognize her when she is out grocery shopping."
Quaglieri said, "Yes, I'm very surprised that so many people care for my cooking. It feels good cause I like to show people how I cook." But while she appreciates her online followers, her biggest joy is cooking for her family. She is very proud of her eight grandchildren and her great-grandchildren.
Nigro considers himself an old soul. Throughout his life he has always enjoyed spending time with his older relatives, especially his grandmother. "Nonna Pia has lived with us (his parents and brother) since I was a little kid. She is like a second mother to me," he said.
Nonna Pia in her kitchenQuaglieri is often heard in the videos telling her grandson,"You got to learn."
She explained, "Because when I'm not here [any] more, they need to keep the Italian traditions going. I always want all my grandkids to eat just as good."
The desire to keep these recipes and traditions alive is why Nigro started making the videos. "There are no recipes written down, no measurements — she cooks by feel, by taste and by memory," he said.
"All the recipes are in my head, I just remember them," Quiglieri explained.  (Often asked by fans if she wants to write a cookbook, Quiglieri replies, "How am I going to write a cookbook when I don't write English?")
Nigro is happy to see the world embracing his grandmother, but says it wasn't his intent to make his Nonna famous 
"It has never been about making money or gaining followers. The motivation for the videos is to preserve our traditions. I record Nonna Pia for us, for our family. I want to preserve her traditions and make sure that her love of food and family continues through the generations," Nigro said.
Growing Up Italian 
Saturday March 19th is Saint Joseph's Day and how else would Italians choose to commemorate the day but with a feast.
Sabino Curcio, owner of Anthony and Son Sandwich Shoppe in Brooklyn, N.Y. and co-creator of the Growing Up Italian podcast, said, "For us, food is about family and tradition. Italians, we take pride in our cooking. We cook the dishes that remind us of the good memories we have growing up, sitting around the table all together."
In Curcio's words, you don't have to be rich to enjoy a plentiful and delicious Italian meal. 
"In Italy, and even when they first came to America, Italians struggled. They didn't have money or access to fancy ingredients. They didn't eat much meat or chicken. Instead, they worked with good, inexpensive ingredients – the best they could find," he said. "Water, flour – that's all it takes to make a pasta or pizza dough."
And while today's modern Italian cooking tries to re-invent the classics, Curcio believes that is nonsense. 
"A homemade crust, with homemade sauce and fresh mozzarella – that's a pizza. There is no reason to add pineapple or other funky ingredients," he said. "It's not broken, so there is no need to fix it."  


Grab a Plate with Nonna Pia — TikTok's Favorite Italian Grandmother

Randi Mazzella

There is power in talking openly about mental health and mental illness. Featuring expert insight and personal stories, find support and resources on how to challenge stigma and rethink mental health as we age.

The “downsizing” process can seem daunting, but it is manageable — and sometimes cathartic, nostalgic or even fun.

Growing a business means managing change. Read how entrepreneurs like you have done just that and found resources to succeed.

Nationwide workshops and festivals offer community for aging artists

Talking About It: Aging and Mental Health

Consider the Upside of Downsizing

Navigating Change

Art + Aging in Community