How 'Love on the Spectrum' Highlights the Possibilities of Love
Parents of young adults featured on the Netflix reality dating series say they value the importance placed on encouragement and independence
As a devoted autism parent, Holly Robinson Peete was instantly smitten by the vulnerability and honesty that is conveyed by the cast members in the reality dating series, "Love on the Spectrum."
A mom of four, including R.J., (her 26-year-old son with autism), she could easily identify with many of the parents and caregivers in the series.
"We are extremely happy to shine a light on people who aren't often represented in the media,"
In celebration of Autism Acceptance Month in April, Peete recently joined "Love on the Spectrum" cast members and series creator Cian O'Clery to help announce the Season 3 renewal of the popular Netflix series. She shares why she thinks this heartwarming show is so meaningful to adults with autism and their parents, caregivers and extended families.
"I am a huge fan of 'Love on the Spectrum' because there is so much to admire about the show," the 59-year-old Peete recently said. "I am super excited that we are getting to see more of it."
O'Clery, who started the series in Australia, says he is thrilled to be embarking on the next season of the U.S. show. Filming for Season 3 is expected to start later this year, with several familiar cast members from previous seasons and a few new ones.
"We are extremely happy to continue to shine a light on people who aren't often represented in the media," O'Clery said. "We love being able to introduce our audience to these fabulous people, and their families, and their search for love."
He appreciates that these are real people telling their stories in their own voices. "We love seeing the series being so well received and so well loved by audiences, critics and the participants themselves; the actual cast is the most important part of this experience to us."
Peete said that she enjoyed "picking Cian's brain," and telling him how much the show means to her. "I loved talking about both seasons and how involved and invested I am in the show."
"Love on the Spectrum" shows the cast members on their well-planned dates to restaurants, museums, parks, picnics and even an English tea house. Like any first or subsequent date, the participants are getting to know one another and discovering their commonalities in the hopes of finding a lasting relationship.
All of their excitement and fear about this giant leap is relatable. The added angst is that many of them lack the social skills, communication skills or a road map to pursue their first, or subsequent, romantic relationship.
"I think that as the show pertains to falling in love, it shows that people with autism are capable of loving and having romantic relationships."
Cast members include Dani, who owns a Los Angeles-based animation company, James of Boston, Tanner from Clemson, South Carolina, Journey who is a native of Chicago, Connor from outside Atlanta, and Steve from San Francisco who is dating for the first time in his mid-60s, which presents its own challenges. (Netflix only uses first names of the cast members in the series).
While Peete acknowledges that her son R.J. has overcome many social and other hurdles, including long-term successful employment with the L.A. Dodgers, one item still on his list is dating and having a meaningful romantic relationship.
Having Romantic Relationships
In fact, ever since she first watched the series, she began thinking about what it would be like if R.J. became a member of the cast but he is not interested.
"I am bummed about it because I want him to find love," said Peete. "This is one of the areas where he struggles and as such it is a goal I have for him. I think that as the show pertains to falling in love, it shows that people with autism are capable of loving and having romantic relationships."
Another appealing aspect of the show are the values of kindness and caring that cast members have revealed over the last two seasons. Instead of more modern-day dating, they are also courting one another by bringing flowers or small token gifts to some of the dates.
"For me, the beauty of the stories is the purity and the truth in which the cast members express themselves," Peete said. "They don't always know the nuances of life, but they come with such a high level of purity and also with no judgment and no games."
The Central Role of Parents
The extended family members are a central part of the show, especially the parents and caregivers. Peete said that she and Connor's mom, Lise Smith, became fast friends. "I enjoyed connecting with his mom; we are like two peas in a pod," Peete said. "While we were sharing stories it was like we had been friends forever."
"I cried when I was listening to Connor talk to the producers about being lonely, and his emotional reaction to seeing happy couples in the grocery store where he works."
His mom said she had spent her time and energy focused on her son's social skills, interrupting his stimming behavior (repetitive movements or noises), making sure he received his high school diploma and helping him secure a job.
But she sheepishly admits, "I didn't think for one second about his romantic life. We have a large blended family of six children and I thought I had the whole person covered."
After the family watched the series in 2019, Connor's younger brother reached out to the show. Connor told the producers in Season 2 that being single makes him feel left out, especially because all of his siblings are in significant relationships. He added that he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life alone.
Connor reluctantly went to a speed dating event during Season 2 of "Love on the Spectrum" and met a girl named Emily with whom he went on several dates.
"I cried when I was listening to Connor talk to the producers about being lonely, and his emotional reaction to seeing happy couples in the grocery store where he works," his mom said. "We are at the point that even if it doesn't work out on "Love on the Spectrum," we are going to help make this work for him."
Smith believes that the show "raises awareness and acceptance for all of us. I hope that it means more opportunities for Connor and his peers. I hope it is opening eyes; especially of an employer who will see these beautiful minds and accept that they use a unique lens on the world. Let's dive deeper," she said.
Encouragement and Independence
When asked how "Love on the Spectrum" has changed Connor and his future outlook, his mom says that he is "very optimistic and happier. He is more confident and grounded. Six months ago, a few grocery store customers were complaining that he sang to himself in the parking lot and it made them nervous; now they want to take selfies with him," said Smith.
"But more importantly," she stresses, "they can see his mind may work differently from others, but the series is a validation for all of us who have neurodivergent children that it's not just us; we are all in this together."
Peete says during the recent Netflix announcement for Season 3 she had the opportunity to swap stories with several of the cast members, including Abbey and David, who met during Season 1 of "Love on the Spectrum" and are seriously dating. They call one another "the best boyfriend and the best girlfriend ever."
The relationship has progressed to the point that, during Season 2, David presented her with a "special surprise" when he invited Abbey, her mother, Christine, and his sisters to experience an African safari, and O'Clery and his crew were there to document their adventures.
During the show, Abbey's mom said how much her daughter has progressed since she began dating David two years ago. "As her mom, and I think I speak for a lot of parents; we worry that they will be alone, or will I have to take care of her for the rest of my life?" As a result of having a loving relationship with David, she added, "I feel like [Abbey] is going to launch. It rocks you to your core when they win."
"As her mom, and I think I speak for a lot of parents; we worry that they will be alone, or will I have to take care of her for the rest of my life?"
Among the major topic of conversation between the parents, both during the episodes and afterward, is the importance that is placed on encouragement, and, ultimately, independence.
"Whenever you see the involvement from the families it becomes something that we can all relate to," Peete said. "I love seeing people respond to the show, and not just those who have a loved one on the spectrum, or those who are curious, but regular folks, too."
For Autism Acceptance Month, Peete also spoke of her 26th Annual Design Care event through her charitable HollyRod Foundation, which she co-founded with her husband, Rodney, a former NFL quarterback.
Peete knows the importance of encouragement, inclusion and fostering independence in children and adults with autism and other special needs. The event, taking place in L.A. on July 20, will honor author and poet Morgan Harper Nichols, as well as KultureCity, a company that provides autism sensory rooms and kits to sports stadiums and concert halls around the nation.
She noted that when it comes to young adults with autism, added support can be instrumental in making positive strides in their lives. "I know that it can be extremely difficult to 'navigate that support cliff.'"
Peete says when it comes to her friends' sons and daughters on the autism spectrum who are actively looking for a relationship, "Love on the Spectrum" reveals that it can happen, and it does happen.
"Until you can see it, you might always have that doubt in your mind that it could even be possible," Peete said. "I appreciate that 'Love on the Spectrum' highlights the possibilities of love."
Seasons 1 and 2 of "Love on the Spectrum" are available for streaming on Netflix.
